Well, it’s beginning to look like Angelina Pivarnick’s anger about her wedding might actually outlive her marriage.
Yes, Angeliners is still dealing with drama surrounding the wedding roast heard round the world, even as her relationship with Chris Larangeira hangs by a thread.
We’re not sure what’s more surprising — that a wedding that took place in 2019 is still a source of controversy, or that Pivarnick, who used to stuff all her belongings in a Hefty bag and bail every time sh-t got real, is now the closest thing Jersey Shore has to a main character.
Either way, it was another Angelina-centric episode of Shore on Thursday night, and for once, the Staten Island Hamster actually managed to solve some problems, instead of creating more. Progress!
Anyway, before we get to Angelina’s marital status, let’s take a look at the night that started it all.
Part of us hopes that Pivarnick’s sitdown with Snooki will be the final discussion of that freakin’ bridesmaids’ speech, but let’s be honest …
… There’s not a whole lot happening in the Shore-iverse, and the show is gonna continue to milk this storyline for everything it’s worth.
“You took a longer break than I expected. I was very upset,” Angelina began the talk, as though being “very upset” isn’t her entire persona.
“I needed it,” Snooki replied before launching into what might be the lengthiest and most eloquent of all the apologies Angelina has received so far:
“Here’s my thing, I want you to know I didn’t maliciously mean to ruin your wedding or hurt your feelings. I am not that kind of person. I would never try and do that to somebody,” Snooki explained.
“That’s where I was coming from by calling you … with my speech and what I said. I thought it was going to be funny,” she continued.
“And I felt bad and I just felt like it went overboard and I never meant to hurt your feelings. We were trying to be funny, we were drunk and it was stupid. It snowballed.
“I regret it and it was terrible and we probably should have said it at your bachelorette party. You would have loved it … if it wasn’t at your fairytale wedding.”
And just when we thought Snooks’ speech couldn’t get any better, she capped it off with an absolute banger:
“I’d rather cut my left tit off than ever talk about this again,” Snooki concluded.
She might actually get her wish, as it looks like Snooks is gonna bail on the Poconos trip, so … yeah, we guess that’s it for the long-awaited return of Snooki.
Better than nothing, we suppose!
But we can’t help but wonder if she’s getting paid for the entire season …
Anyway, you’ve probably heard the rumors that Angelina and Chris are headed for divorce, and the couple certainly isn’t doing much to dispel those theories with their recent behavior.
Angelina is throwing chicken tendies around with some guy from Old Bridge; Chris ganked the TV from the bedroom when he moved out on Ange … It’s a whole mess.
But there was some headway on this week’s Shore, as Chris moved back in with Angelina, and she swooned over his beard-y new look.
And just like that, these two are off to the Poconos together.
We’re guessing this trip will be less dramatic than past Shore vacations, due to the fact that there are approximately 47 kids coming along (and yes, we’re counting 24).
But you can bet the mystery man from Old Bridge will be mentioned … and it probably won’t end well for Angeliners.
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