Benidorm actress Crissy Rock has remarkably admitted she forgives the granddad that abused her as a young girl.
The 60-year-old comedian was just seven when the abuse began , where she was hit almost daily or dragged from her bed and dunked in a bath and doused in freezing cold water.
She explained during an emotional appearance on Loose Women how living under the same roof as her granddad would leave her terrified over his 'Jekyll and Hyde' behaviour.
He died when she was 15 after she nursed him in his last days, which she found difficult to deal with because she loved him and also wanted answers about why he did what he did.
"When he died I was so angry with him. How dare he just die and not say why? 'I don’t understand why you did what you did'," she fumed on the panel show.
"He’s just gone and took it away so I can’t questions," she said.
Crissy says she recalls being sat in a room for three days following his death "just arguing with a person that was dead".
She wept as she added: "If he walked in the door and I thought I don't understand what happened, but I’m going to forgive you."
It was an emotionally heavy interview for Crissy as she was quizzed by the Loose Women about her memories of growing up at the hands of an abuser.
She said of opening up years later: "A lot of what happens in your life is related to mental health and I’ve always known why i have these feelings and why i have these anxiety attacks aim able now to control it.
"I know why a smell, sound, noise something that has a domino effect that transports you right back."
Crissy confessed that at the time she wanted to tell her parents what was going on but that she was concerned they wouldn't believe her.
"Because you were told it was your fault. They wouldn't believe you and they think you were horrible and stupid," she said the experience also meant her school work suffered.
The actress has said that in spite of her trauma from her past and turbulent relationships she's managed to find love again with partner Julian.
"I can’t change my past. But I can change the future," she said.
"You have to [stay strong]. Because if you don’t he’s going to win all the time. He’s been dead a long time now. It doesn't make it any easier.
"If you can love yourself then anything else is a bonus."
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