• Fri. May 27th, 2022

Jessie J’s miscarriage story is a poignant reminder of the “lonely” trauma of baby loss

May 3, 2022

Written by Amy Beecham

Singer Jessie J shared the experience of finding out her baby no longer had a heartbeat and the strength she found in continuing to perform on the Diary Of A CEO podcast.

After taking to Instagram to announce the “overwhelming sadness” that she’d experienced a miscarriage in November 2021, Jessie J has opened up about the traumatic experience on Steven Bartlett’s Diary Of A CEO podcast.

“I just knew something wasn’t the same,” she recalled in the episode, explaining how she woke up one morning after finding out she was pregnant and didn’t “feel right”.

She visited a doctor immediately and had an ultrasound to check on the baby, after which she was told that her baby’s heartbeat was “very low”. 

“There was that dreadful silence when you first have a scan and I was like, ‘Just tell me the truth – what’s going on?’ and she said, ‘Your baby’s heartbeat is very low and there’s this ring,’ and I said, ‘Well what does that mean?’” Jessie shared.

“She said: ‘It often means your baby will have some type of disability or deformity… the baby’s heartbeat is very weak.’ I said, ‘But it’s still there?’ She said, ‘Yeah, it’s still there.’”

However, the singer became tearful as she explained that following a second scan by a different doctor, she found out that her baby had no heartbeat.

“He did another scan and he said, ‘I’m really sorry there’s no heartbeat.’ That [scan] was within three or four hours of the first one.”

Describing the emotional impact of baby loss, Jessie said: “I felt like I’d been given everything I’d ever wanted and then someone had gone: ‘But you can’t have it.’ I’ve never felt so lonely in my life.”

On 24 November, the singer shared a now-deleted post on Instagram where she candidly discussed the experience of losing her baby.

“Yesterday morning I was laughing with a friend saying: ‘Seriously though how am I going to get through my gig in LA tomorrow night without telling the whole audience I am pregnant?’ she wrote.

“By yesterday afternoon I was dreading the thought of getting through the gig without breaking down… After going for my 3rd scan and being told there was no longer a heartbeat.

“This morning. I feel like I have no control of my emotions. I may regret posting this. I may not. I actually don’t know.”

“I decided to have a baby on my own. Because it’s all I’ve ever wanted and life is short,” she continued. “To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again.

“I’m still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming. But I know I am strong, and I know I will be OK.

“I also know millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse. I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don’t.

“It’s the loneliest feeling in the world.”

Jessie J was due to perform live in LA the day she found out she had miscarried

She confirmed that she would still be performing live for her scheduled show at LA’s The Hotel Café last night, describing how music is her “therapy”.

“What I do know is that I want to sing tonight. Not because I’m avoiding the grief or the process, but because I know singing tonight will help me.

“I have done two shows in two years and my soul needs it. Even more today. I know some people will be thinking she should just cancel it. But at this moment I have clarity on one thing. I started singing when I was young for joy, to fill my soul and self-love therapy. That hasn’t ever changed and I have to process this my way.”

Fans and celebrities including Pixie Lott, Laura Whitmore, Jordin Sparks and Jojo shared their support and condolences in the comments.

“I’m so sorry Jessie, sending loads of love,” wrote Lott.

Pregnancy charity Tommy’s offers support and guidance for those who have experienced baby loss.

Images: Getty

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