A single’s guide to festive dating: Relationship expert reveals her dos and don’ts for the Christmas period (and the signs of a ‘desperate’ dater)

  • Dating expert Louanne Ward has shared her single’s guide to festive dating  
  • She encourages people to say ‘yes’ to invitations but not to ‘desperate date’ 
  • She also warns against rushing into sex and getting comfortable with being solo 

Relationship coach Louanne Ward (pictured) has revealed her key ‘dos and don’ts’ for the Christmas and New Year period

While the Christmas season is all about family time and spreading love, breakups and loneliness are also at an all time high. 

Activity on dating apps spike, singles organise too many dates and thousands wake up with sore heads after long nights out on the town.

So to help Australians find balance this festive season, dating and relationship coach Louanne Ward, from Perth, has revealed her key ‘dos and don’ts’ for the Christmas and New Year period.     

‘It is natural to reflect on the year that was and the goals you set for yourself and if one of those goals was to meet someone (and you haven’t) it can be particularly hard,’ Ms Ward told FEMAIL.

‘Looking around seeing everybody else loved up while you go home to the same four walls can trigger the brain into action about how to solve the problem.

‘It is always a perfect time to meet someone but, in the quest to get out of singledom in the festive season its important to stop, take check on your actions and the longer-term effects they may have of your emotional wellbeing.’ 

‘Trying to break a world record of how many apps you can be on and how many dates you have won’t increase your chances,’ Ms Ward said

1. DON’T BE A ‘DESPERATE DATER’   

Thousands of Australians up their dating in the lead up to December 31 for a glimmer of hope that on New Year’s Eve they might be kissing someone. 

‘Trying to break a world record of how many apps you can be on and how many dates you have won’t increase your chances,’ Ms Ward said. 

‘The more dates you go on, the less present you are on the date.

‘Thinking about the next date you are going on while you are still on a date, meeting more than one person every couple of days, spending all your spare time dating and dropping plans with friends to get out on a date are all warning signs you are becoming desperate.’

2. DON’T RUSH SEX 

‘It’s easy to get carried away at this time of year and drinking too much also blurs the lines,’ Ms Ward said. 

‘The truth is sleeping with someone thinking it will make them like you more is not the case. 

‘Be mindful of Christmas party hook ups which could potentially have you doing the walk of shame the next morning.’

3. DON’T GET TOO COMFORTABLE WITH BEING ALONE

Ms Ward warns against getting too comfortable with staying home instead of going out with friends or on a date.  

‘Resigning yourself to the way it is, using excuses of no family and/or breakups as a reason you feel down in only going to make you feel worse,’ Ms Ward said.

‘Be comfortable with uncomfortable invites and environments, new places, new faces and new opportunities. Having the strength to show vulnerability is empowering and sexy.’

‘The truth is sleeping with someone thinking it will make them like you more is not the case,’ she said

Three tweaks that will improve your dating profile 

Longer profile copy: 47% of single men and 36% of women describe themselves in 25 words or less – a missed opportunity according to eHarmony internal data 

Specific questions as openers: We’ve all been guilty of this type of approach, but a basic ‘hey’ or ‘how are you’ has been shown to cause a 35% drop in replies 

The importance of strong profile imagery: What profile pictures make singles flock to your profile, and what definitely does not? 

4. DO APPRECIATE THE POSITIVE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE 

‘Take time to appreciate the positive aspects of your life, your health, friends, family, your home, the country you live in, the weather and your work,’ Ms Ward said.

‘The more time you spend appreciating the things you have the more you’ll have to appreciate.’

5. DO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR HAPPINESS  

Ms Ward urges everyone to prioritise doing things that make them feel great throughout summer.

‘Fill your own bucket, be honest with people when they ask what you are doing over the holidays and tell them you are on your own,’ Ms Ward said.

‘Let them know if they have a spare ticket or if they need a hand you can be called upon.

‘Get off the couch and into reality, have some fun and say yes to invitations.’ 

‘Fill your own bucket, be honest with people when they ask what you are doing over the holidays and tell them you are on your own,’ Ms Ward (pictured) said

6. DO SET GOALS

Ms Ward encourages people to set ‘mini goals’ and tasks for themselves for the festive period. 

‘Challenge yourself and start achieving,’ she said.

‘It could be finding other single people to share Christmas with, planting a veggie patch, getting a new hairstyle, cleaning the garage, taking up a new hobby or setting goals for next year.

‘Whatever it is set things that are achievable now and work towards achieving them.’

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