• Tue. Mar 28th, 2023

Mum had baby at 58 and says she has nothing to be ashamed of

Mar 11, 2023

Carolyne Ness, 64, had her baby four years ago at the age of 58. The mum-of-one, who lives in New South Wales, Australia, paid £4,500 to adopt an embryo in India.

In 2017, mid-60s Carolyne decided to adopt an embryo in India, hoping to conceive her first child.

She welcomed her son Javed, now five, in November of the same year and has no regrets about her decision.

In fact, Carolyne believes that her decision to have her baby at a more mature age has actually made her a better parent.

The mum told Fabulous that having a baby just shy of her 60th birthday would never have been her first choice.

In fact, her “worst nightmare” was to become a single mother. However, she knew that if she wanted a child it was “now or never”.

Carolyne revealed that having her baby at age 58 was a decision she’s very proud of.

She said: “I would have missed out on something that’s brought me so much happiness. Having Javed is a wonderful gift and I’m extremely lucky.”

The now mum had always longed to be a mother but struggled throughout her adult life with getting pregnant.

While married to her ex-husband she discovered she had fertility issues but when they got round to thinking about IVF their marriage had “really broken down”.

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Carolyne did have relationships after this but did not find her “Mr Right”, a man “suitable” enough to have a baby with.

She looked into adoption but discovered that at home and overseas, she might be waiting several years for a child.

Just shy of her 28th birthday, Carolyne found out about embryo adoption, where an embryo is adopted rather than a baby who has already been born.

The age limit for this procedure in Australia is 55 years old so Carolyne looked further afield and made the 6,000 mile trip to India.

So as not to get her hopes up, the soon-to-be mum thought of the trip as a holiday and managed to tick off the Golden Triangle, Agra, Jaipur and New Delhi on her travel bucket list.

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She was transferred three embryos, using the egg of a 21-year-old Indian woman and the sperm from an American donor.

In November 2017, Carolyne was delighted to give birth to her beautiful boy, Javed.

She had a C-section birth due to her age making the pregnancy high-risk, but Javed was born perfectly healthy.

She revealed the most challenging aspect of having her baby: “Being a single mum can be a real struggle as you don’t have anyone to fall back on in the same way.”

Carolyne, who grew up in Fife, said: “I don’t have family here. I’ve got friends but Australia is such a huge place that they don’t really live near me.”

The mum does not believe that your 50s are too old to have a baby, and having Javed was the “best decision” she “ever made”.

Speaking about how her age has affected her son, she said: “He hasn’t noticed me being older, all he says is that he wants a dad.

“I think other mums obviously notice. Some of Javed’s friends have grandmothers who are around the same age as me but I just make myself known as his mum. I have nothing to be ashamed of after all.”

In fact, Carolyne believes she is a better mother having done it later in life than she would have been as a young mum.

She revealed she was more “selfish” in her younger days and has “far more patience now”.

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