JOEY Essex fans were left in tears as the star returned to his family home where he lived with his late mum.

The reality star, 30 – who shot to fame in 2011 on ITV's Towie – bravely opened up about his devastating loss in his BBC documentary Joey Essex: Grief and Me last night.

When Joey was 10 his mum Tina, who suffered with depression, sadly took her own life and over the past 20 years he has struggled with his loss.

After having a therapy session, the telly personality decided that the best way to reconnect with his past was by going back to the home where he grew up.

Joey explained: "Today I'm going back to my old house, back to Bermondsey.

"I lived in Bermondsey from when I was born until maybe seven or eight, then I moved to Chigwell.

"Going to this house today is a huge thng. I couldn't really sleep last night, I got a bit of anxiety to be honest. I don't know if it's because of today but it must have been."

Joey explained to the camera that it was the first time he's ever felt strong enough to go back and revisit those memories he made with his beloved mum.

"Years and years have gone past, I've always wanted to do this but I've never put myself out there to do it," he said.

"I feel like the end of it is like, this is the final hurdle sort of thing.

"It's about moving forward with the situation and I hope somehow I can open up a place in my head where I can find peace."

As Joey walked up to the front door he took a second to gather his emotions and explained he never thought he'd return in a million years.

With a smile on his face he told the current house owner he always used to hide in a space in the living room.

As he walked into the kitchen he explained that it hasn't changed much since he moved out.


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Joey fought back the tears as he sat on the back door step and remincined about when his mum used to make them all macaroni cheese.

He told the camera: "We'd all just sit here like this. You can imagine the mum in the middle and us two siting here.

"I just knew exactly how it make me feel, it makes me feel this is the closest I've ever been to a feeling like that little boy again."

Viewers couldn't contain their emotions as Joey opened up on camera.


One wrote on Twitter: "I'm moved to tears seeing @JoeyEssex_ in so much pain."

Another said: "Well [email protected] #joeyessex #joeyessexgriefandme."

A third added: "@JoeyEssex_ Watching #joeyessexgriefandme Very moving. Very brave of him."

A fourth chimed in: "Wow this is actually so heartbreaking #joeyessexgriefandme."

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