Candiace Dillard says she's still working through her trauma almost a year after her brutal brawl with Monique Samuels, which aired on Sunday's episode of The Real Housewives of Potomac.
Dillard, 33, opened up about the incident during an appearance on The Wendy Williams Show on Monday. The former Miss United States said she still doesn't understand what led to what appeared to be Samuels, 36, dragging her by the wig before repeatedly hitting her on the head.
"This is never somewhere that I saw myself being at any time," Dillard told host Wendy Williams. "I'm not a fighter. It's not what I do and having gone through this and having dealt with the trauma of it — it's not what I see my legacy being."
"I don't want this to be representative of me or Black women at all. … It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed," Dillard added.
Dillard explained that although "we're almost a year removed from the incident" she's "still confused."
"I still don't know what exactly I did to this person," Dillard said before being interrupted by Williams, 56, who asked: "Didn't you accuse [Monique] of having an affair?"
As viewers know, Dillard and Samuels found themselves at odds with each other after Dillard invited former Housewife Charrisse Jordan Jackson to her wedding anniversary party earlier in the season. Samuels believes Jordan Jackson has been spreading a rumor that she had an affair with her fitness trainer. (Samuels has denied the affair, and Jordan Jackson has denied spreading the gossip.)
But Dillard told Williams that she was not involved in the whisperings about Monique's personal life.
"If she had asked me — which she never had a conversation with me about these rumors that she heard — she would have gotten clarity that I was never a part of a spin, a spreading or a plot," Dillard said. "The fact that she's now using that to justify what she did is poppycock. If you pay attention to the season, she never brings up these rumors and this plotting during the season. It only comes out and becomes an issue after we've wrapped filming. She was looking for a reason to justify attacking another Black woman on national television."
Dillard also revealed that she's not upset with Karen Huger, who comforted Samuels on the episode but refused to take sides.
RELATED: Monique Samuels Says She 'Blacked Out' During Candiace Dillard Attack on RHOP: 'I'll Kill Her'
"I'm not mad at Karen," Dillard asserted, adding, however, that she's waiting for Huger, 57, "to find her sense."
"[Karen] really sort of humps the fence the entire season in a situation that is very clear cut. You can't ride the fence in a situation when you have someone who grabs me by the hair and punches me in the head and then shows no remorse," Dillard said. (Samuels said on Sunday's episode the fight was a "long time coming" and that Dillard "asked for it.")
Dillard also shared that the fight "changes the dynamic of the entire group" this season.
"I feel it's important for me to say I am not okay," Dillard told Williams.
The Howard University graduate also explained her decision to press charges against Samuels, saying, "That was not for TV. That was me watching this person, who physically attacked me show no remorse." (Samuels filed a cross-complaint, and both were dismissed by the Office of the State’s Attorney for Montgomery County, Maryland, last December.)
As for the friendship between their husbands, Chris Bassett and Chris Samuels?
"They're in an awkward place. They spoke very recently make a few weeks ago for the first time since the incident took place, which was in October," Dillard said of the husbands.
When Samuels' and her husband spoke about the incident on Sunday's episode, he said he was disappointed in his wife, calling the situation "embarrassing."
"You shouldn't be fighting, like, that's ridiculous. I like Candiace and Chris and I hate that you and Candiace are in this situation where y'all are actually physically hitting each other. It's not a good image," the former NFL star said.
Samuels has also spoken out about the fight, writing on Twitter after the episode aired that she's "grateful" for her ups and downs.
"The blessing of experiencing lows means there's no where to go but UP! Keep watching to see the entire journey. I'm grateful for my ups and downs because they help me grow. I'll continue to look for positives wrapped within negatives and move forward #RHOP," Samuels tweeted.
The Real Housewives of Potomac airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.
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